Military Resume Writer: Accurate and Professional
Military resume writing services: accuracy and professionalism
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Switch on your charm: methods and secrets of the special services
There is a book written by an ex-FBI employee of the behavioral analysis department. He is perfectly aware of the rules of to charm people. His tremendous experience helped him generalize and present his knowledge of how to use your charm to attract people. The knowledge of human psychology and behavior regularities will help you as well improve your communication skills significantly (http://resume-writer.net/blog/how-to-make-contact-with-colleagues).
The formula of friendship
The key notion that helps build any trusting relationship is the formula of friendship. It looks like this: friendship = closeness + lasting + frequence + intension. Closeness, in this case, means the distance between people. Any relationship is possible without a person being close to you. Except for the distance, a safe atmosphere contributes to the closeness creation as well. Otherwise, a person activates the protective mechanisms of fight or escape and, naturally, you will not manage to be friends. However, bear in mind that the aspiration for closeness should not turn into the violation of private space.
The lasting and frequence characterize the time that you spend together with an object of your interest. The higher this indicator is, the more impact on the thoughts and actions of each other there is.
Intension implies the ability to satisfy the psychological needs of a person by means of communication. Probably this is the most crucial component of a friendly relationship that characterizes its depth and quality.
Using this formula, you can put your relationships in order and understand where exactly your problem is. Maybe, you communicate only on distance? Or do it too seldom? Influencing the weakest link, you can revive your relationship. Our executive resume writing service can revive your resume, update it and make it modern.
How to attract attention?
Evolutionary a human developed mainly in a hostile and highly competitive environment. In order to survive in such conditions, a person needed to distinguish friends and enemies quickly and correctly. Our brain constantly scans the environment, searching for non-verbal signals. The presence of these signals forms an “inexplicable” liking or disliking for complete strangers. That is why if you want to attract someone’s attention and increase the chances of friendly relationship development, use the following non-verbal signs:
- smile – a pretty obvious sign so we will not talk much about it;
- eyebrow raising – a simple and slightly noticeable gesture that points at the interest in a person;
- head tilt – this gesture bares the most tender spot, which the neck area with carotid artery, and it definitely points at a friendly treatment of both men and women;
- eye contact – at the first stage of acquaintance it should be short, no more than a second. Otherwise, it would be treated as hostility signal;
- touch – this is a powerful (and that is why a bit dangerous) sign of liking. Usually, even light and accidental touch help move to another level of closeness. However, if a person’s reaction is negative, it means hostile treatment, and you will have to work hard to achieve mutual understanding. By the way, the best resume writers of our site easily find an approach to all clients.
Isopraxism (or mirroring) means the imitation of the gestures and pose of an interlocutor. This is a simple, unnoticeable and very effective way to show your friendly attitude. Brain treats such behavior as completely innocent (unlike gazing or touching) but friendly. It is also important to be aware of the hostile signals that tell that you do not cause someone’s trust. Here are some of them:
- the long intent look is the manifestation of aggression and makes a person activate the protective mechanisms;
- estimating glance is expressed in the examination of a person from head to toe. For a close one, it can be a compliment, but a stranger will treat it as disrespect;
- rolling eyes: this gesture means that a person considers your behavior stupid or inappropriate;
- aggressive posture is expressed in the wide apart legs and raised chin; also, a person can put the hands on the hips;
- frowning eyebrows and narrowed eyes are the sign of anger.
Friendship golden rule
The use of non-verbal signals helps warm up an interlocutor and establish the first contact. After that, you will need to proceed with verbal communication. Exactly this moment is crucial for further relationship building.
How to make communication with you pleasant? How to make people want to talk to you again and again? There is a simple strategy that sounds like: “If you want to make another person like you, make him (her) like him(her)self.” If after every meeting with you a person feels growth, he (she) will want to experience this feeling again and again. The following tips will help you bring this rule to life:
1) Use sympathetic expressions. These are the phrases that express the emotions of an interlocutor. For instance: “It looks like you have a good day,” or “I can see it has made you upset.” Such statement transfers the center of attention to your interlocutor, and also, demonstrate that you really follow the conversation and share the interlocutor’s feelings.
2) Use indirect compliments. The line between a compliment and flattering is very slight, and it can push away an almost strange person. That is why you will need a more cunning approach. Make your interlocutor praise him(her)self. For example, say: “It is necessary to be very persistent to finish this project.” The logical conclusion that a person will draw is: “Yes, I am really persistent if I have managed to do this.”
3) Ask for an insignificant favor. In this case, a person will be ready to do something greater the next time. The principle is the same: helping you, he (she) will feel his (her) significance. Of course, you should not abuse this method. Luckily, it does not concern us: appeal to our online expert resume editor as many times as you need.
The following empirical laws help establish intimacy with other people and significantly increase the chance of being known as a charming person.
1. Similarity. The more common points you have, the more your interlocutor likes you.
2. Joint experience. Joint experience of some events is an excellent way to establish trust quickly.
3. Positive side effect. If any external event causes positive emotions, most likely, a person will project them onto another person who is close at the moment.
4. Curiosity. People are extremely curious beings. If you manage to make someone interested, you will definitely attract attention to you.
5. Reciprocity. It is human nature to reciprocate the actions of other people. Having smiled, you will probably get a smile in the response. Having done a favor, most likely, another person will also agree to help you.
6. Inaccessibility (hard-to-reach). Forbidden fruit is sweet. That is why a certain degree of difficulty in a relationship causes curiosity and desire to get this fruit. In this case, it is important not to overdo and not to push a person away.
Main rules of verbal communication
The basis of any relationship is communication, and first of all, this is verbal communication. In order to make an interlocutor like you, it is necessary to consider some human features that differ people from technical means of transmitting and receiving information.
Rule #1: listen. People think four times faster than speak. That is why it is hard to listen to someone without being distracted by other thoughts. That is why the ability to listen is a very useful asset that few people possess. Follow the following tips to become an active listener:
- Let your partner express his (her) thought completely before you start speaking;
- do not think about your answer, while you are listening, but think about what an interlocutor is saying;
- be ready to tell a complement or sympathetic expression;
- ask clarifying questions;
- conduct important conversations in an appropriate atmosphere.
Rule #2: watch. Communication success depends much on your ability to interpret the feedback from an interlocutor and, based on this, correct your conversation. For this purpose, it is vital to know how to analyze non-verbal signals. Having noticed negative signs, such as pursed lips or protective poses, think about what has made your interlocutor feel negative and try to remove the threat. Also, ask our resumes writing experts to eliminate the errors from your resume.
Rule #3: escape the conversation traps. Here are the most common of them:
- discussion of controversial topics (especially religious and political issues);
- complaints about personal, family, or business problems;
- conversation topics focused on you;
- too long idle talk;
- overly expressive emotions expression.
Establishing and maintaining long-term relationships
Let’s recall the formula of friendship. Friendship requires closeness, intension, frequence, and lasting. Of course, all these components are especially important to build long-term strategic relationships. Nevertheless, the main factor, in this case, is intension, i.e., the ability to satisfy the psychological needs of another person. In order to increase intension, we need to take care of the following things:
1) Concern. It is expressed in active interest in the life of a close one, his (her) victories and defeats, and also, in the care and help with problem situations.
2) Active listening. Just like at any other stages of relationships, active listening helps to understand the desires, problems, and needs of another person, and it means it allows satisfying them.
3) Reinforcement. In psychology, this term implies the reward and punishment system. We “reward” an interlocutor for his (her) behavior that we like and “punish” for the things that hurt us. Since all people are different, specific difficulties between them are inevitable (luckily, we know what to do: http://resume-writer.net/blog/how-to-get-on-well-with-colleagues). Naturally, there should be more rewards in a trusting relationship. When it comes to punishments, it is always necessary to seek a compromise solution.
Of course, do not forget about other components of the formula of friendship. You need to meet with a person often and long enough, and also, there should be private meetings that help reach closeness.
Let’s sum up
The key point in the understanding of how trusting relationships develop is the friendship formula. Influencing such its components as closeness, lasting, frequence, and intension, you can build a firm relationship. Use non-verbal signals to make an interlocutor like you and to notice the errors in your conduct. Make a person like him(her)self and, thus, this person will want to meet you again and again. For this purpose, be an active listener, carefully but generously say compliments, and express other signs of care and attention.
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